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Things I Overheard on the Weekend

April 20, 2011

I was up late last night; I was on twitter when I should have been working on my deadline. @caramichaels mentioned something that one of her patrons said to her (if you have a twitter account you should follow her and everyone else mentioned in her tweet, below).

@CaraMichaels

Her tweet got me to thinking about some nasty shit that was said to me by spoilt customers over the years but instead of griping all day (I do have that deadline), I will relay some things I overheard this weekend.

When I was volunteering on Saturday in an overstuffed chaotic coat check for the CN Tower climb:

“Hi, I’d like to get my bag, please.”

“Sure, what did it look like?” she asked as she took the sweat soaked ticket from his hand.

“It is brown…and…leather…just a bag.”

“Is it a back pack, a duffel bag…?” she needed more clarification because when we ran out of space, we had piled the thousands of bags on top of each other. The number on the ticket would do nothing more than lead us to the correct section.

“It’s not really a backpack. It’ more of a… It’s a man purse. Don’t judge me. Just find my man purse, okay?”

“Sure. One brown, leather man purse coming right up.”

“Thank you.”

When I was walking a 10km charity walk:

“Sir, Sir, your son is playing awfully close to the creek,” said a lady as she gestured to the overflowing swell of mud coloured water.”

“He’ll be fine.”

“It looks very dangerous over there. It’s very muddy and the ground is loose,” another walker chimed in. Many walkers were casting nervous glances towards both the boy and father.

“Don’t worry, he won’t go in. He’s too much of a pussy.”

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