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Preventing Tantrums, Teenage Mom Style

November 9, 2011

I just finished reading some clever advice on how to handle a kid (perhaps yours) in the throws of a full fledged public tantrum (hint, it involved duct tape and Xanax). Here is the post, Surviving a Department Store Tantrum.

While this advice is, in my mind, completely reasonable, I cannot help but recall how my mother dealt with my one and only tantrum. That’s right, when I was a kid I threw a tantrum once. I repeat: once.

For those of you who have read my blog post about taking my mom to a sex products party, or my mom’s and my recent foray into pumpkin pornography, you have probably already figured out she is way cooler than me. Well guess what? She is also better at doing certain things – things like going bat shit insane when the situation calls for it.

Now on to my story.

When I was very young, I tried throwing a tantrum in a restaurant because I wanted pop with my meal instead of milk. Why I thought that that day would be the day I’d finally get pop instead of milk is beyond me. Except, maybe, we were in the Kresge’s earlier and I saw a boy get the action figure he wanted after an embarrassed looking mom said, “Fine! you can have the toy; just get off the floor!”

Anyhoo, my mom scooped me up and, despite the fact that my coveted fries and gravy had not arrived yet, dragged me home, speed walking at a pace, I was quite certain, faster than the road traffic.

Once we arrived home she then threw her own tantrum. I know what you are thinking; she got mad and yelled. Nope. She threw her own full-fledged, honest to God tantrum.

My mom dropped to the ground, where she proceeded to flop around on the floor, kicking and punching at the air. She rolled around screaming about how unfair her life was, and how it sucked to be a single teen mom, how she missed her prom, blah blah blah. This went on for a good ten minutes, while I stood helpless, wondering if my mother had always been insane or if I had some how broken her.

When my mother finished, she stood up, dusted herself off and said, “Wow, that was fun! Tell ya what, kid. Next time you pitch a fit in public, I’m going to join you.”

Now, here’s the thing about my mom. She wasn’t joking. I knew that if I ever tried to act like an asshole in public again, she would throw herself on the ground right next to me and start screaming at the top of her lungs. Honestly, imagine acting like that in public! She could be so embarrassing.

Adult Tantrum

8 Comments leave one →
  1. November 9, 2011 9:04 pm

    I LOVE your mom! OK, I don’t know her, but still she rocks!
    I am very seriously considering trying this…although I’ll probably end up in the hospital with a ruptured disk or something.

    Great, funny story!

    And thanks for the shout out!

    • November 10, 2011 3:30 am

      Lol! One of the few benefits of being an especially young parent is that you can do stuff like hurl yourself to the ground without any worries of physical damage.

  2. November 9, 2011 11:41 pm

    This is TOO funny! It’s not the first time I’ve heard a mother throwing a tantrum in response to a child’s tantrum. Funny, both times it seems to have worked!

    • November 10, 2011 3:32 am

      I don’t know why more parents don’t try it! It is probably great for stress relief.

  3. November 10, 2011 12:37 am

    “See, kid, this is what you look like.”

  4. November 10, 2011 3:32 am

    Yep, she drove that point home pretty damn quick. Lol!

  5. November 10, 2011 1:08 pm

    I love your mother. Really, really do.

  6. November 10, 2011 1:16 pm

    Thanks Kelly! Wait until you hear about our latest adventure. I hope to get around to writing about it soon.

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