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Google Your Way to an Erotic Thanksgiving

November 23, 2011

Tomorrow I am going to post a Thanksgiving themed Threesome Thursday. I am pretty excited about it, really, and, according to my traffic stats, I am not the only one who is up for some Thanksgiving themed sexy.

Now that I think about it, I bet there are a few people hanging around the interwebs who might be a little curious about what kind of search terms will lead a person to an erotica writer’s blog.

Admit it.

Now that I brought it up, you want to peek.

Before I show you a sample (a snapshot of how people found me last Sunday morning) of my search stats, let me make the disclaimer that I don’t actually write a whole lot of erotica on this blog. I do have a couple of erotica stories kicking around that I have yet to share. I also have  a full frontal nude shot of Josh Duhamel and a cell phone pic of Scarlet Johannsen’s naked ass in my possession but I have yet to actually post them here. Because I do not post a lot of actual erotica on this site, I am sure my search terms will differ greatly from other erotica writers. With that said, here are my search terms from Sunday morning, which seemed to have an unusual assortment of terms, even for my blog.

Erotica Writer's Search Engine Terms

So there you have it. The wild and wacky search terms people used to find the e-rotica blog.

Let’s dissect, shall we?

chris evans. I am not surprised at the amount of people searching for this guy. And luckily for them that hottie was featured on an abtastic Threesome Thursday post.

thanksgiving menu. HA! You don’t want the stuff I have to offer shared around your family tables, people. Or do you?

breakaway Soundtrack 2011. Oh, this one is easy. This was a Music Monday post. It is cleverly entitled Song from Breakaway Soundtrack.

nerd threesome. Okay, I talk about nerds a lot. I mean a lot, a lot. I also talk about threesomes a lot. Nerd threesome searchers landing on my nerd-centric Threesome Thursday post will hopefully be thoroughly entertained.

stripper for my mom. Okay, that’s a little weird. Of course, I took my mom to a strip club. I also took her home after she got kicked out of the strip club for being handsy with the talent.

nerd threesome pic. See nerd threesome.

thanksgiving laws. Okay, I’m not sure about this one so I’ll just make some up.
1. Thou shalt not keep your mother waiting.
2. Thou shalt not get drunk before 10am
3. Thou shalt not stand in front of the TV for any reason.
4. Thou shalt not throw beer bottles into your neighbour’s yard, unless that prick really deserves it.
5. Thou shalt not screw your girlfriend or boyfriend in your mom’s bathroom or basement. That’s what the car ride over is for.
6. Thou shalt not hoard all the gravy.
7. Thou shalt not put marshmallows on root vegetables (I know you all do this in America but it’s gross, okay? So just knock it off).
8. Thou shalt not serve mincemeat pie as dessert unless you also offer at least two other options.
9. Though shalt not reveal any new body art, piercings, or anything edible or kinky by taking your pants off at the dinner table.
10. Thou shalt not run out of wine.  You may however, choose to stop serving the person who breaks law #9.

toys from the 80. Holy shit, that searcher could spend hours checking out 80’s toys on my site. S/he probably won’t, though. I mean, they were too lazy to finish their own fucking search term. How could they possibly work up the energy to scroll though my site?

dave curran and busters. Oh yeah that one. I went to an x-rated hypnotists show at Dave & Busters in Vaughan, Ontario. It was hilarious. My boyfriend and one of my friends were brave enough to get up on stage. My boyfriend was the blindfolded recipient of lap dances from all of the hypnotized people, including one very large man holding a dildo and one crazy bitch who kept slapping his face during her performance. My friend flipped out on a fake cop for pulling him over because he was black. Except, um, my friend is a very nerdy white guy.

thanksgiving erotica. I will touch on this search term more thoroughly in my Threesome Thursday post tomorrow but I have to say, I admire this person’s tenacity. Could there be a less erotic holiday than Thanksgiving? And yet, this person is determined… And I am here to oblige. Here you go, determined searcher:

Sexy Pilgrim

Sexy Pilgrim

image credit

Okay, I know that is not quite erotica but it could work for some people. I’ll try harder next year, I promise.

erotic humor. Well we all know that this searcher was so obviously searching for my erotic humor series, Nauti-Lust, right?

Before I leave you to prepare for the big day, I will leave you with a piece of advice I stole from another website…

thanksgiving funny

UPDATE: I checked my search terms this morning and found not one but two searches for erpotica blog. Hmm..

12 Comments leave one →
  1. November 23, 2011 1:41 pm

    As usual, gotta love it! I really, really like your Thanksgiving laws. Now it’s time for me to slather my breast with butter and stuff something yummy between the thighs–I’m talking turkey, of course.
    Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, DC!

    • November 24, 2011 3:41 am

      I have to do that too! Except it’s not Thanksgiving here and I’m a vegetarian! 😉

  2. November 23, 2011 2:48 pm

    This was epic. You really should distribute the “Thanksgiving laws” to everyone, everywhere! (Although this American has never made the marshmallow/yam nastiness.) Also loved the naughty pilgrim. I am, however, disturbed about the fact that you can see your search terms. I could be in trouble! I promise, I only searched for the nerd threesome once… 😉

    • November 24, 2011 3:42 am

      Don’t worry Lisa. I can only see the search term, not who they are coming from. Feel free to google nerd threesomes as often as you like.

  3. November 23, 2011 3:10 pm

    LOL! I love some of the search terms you get for your blog, I got koala in a bikini once, which is wrong on so many levels… I especially love that last pic xxxx

  4. November 23, 2011 4:16 pm

    The only thing close to erotic I’ve had in terms of blog searches “Tiny Indian Breast Pics.” I love the nerd threesome pic search. LOL

  5. November 23, 2011 7:50 pm

    Sorry – I cannot agree with #7. I would be lynched if I didn’t put the marshmallows on top the the sweet potatotes. At least I use REAL sweet potatoes and not the canned stuff. If you leave the marshmallows long enough though, they melt and it is almost like they were there except for the sweetness! 🙂

  6. November 23, 2011 9:20 pm

    You had me at Chris Evans. *sigh*

    • November 24, 2011 3:45 am

      I had about 15 people at Chris Evans, apparently. It is one of my top search terms this month.

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