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You Know You’re a Being Bitchy When…

November 30, 2011

If you are simultaneously crying over a sappy television commercial and yelling at your boyfriend for attempting to covertly skip past it, you kind of expect him to storm out of the apartment. This is especially true if, not even ten minutes earlier, you demanded to know if he was trying to make you fat after he presented an unopened box of Lindt chocolates. Just Sayin’.

When (if) he returns to the apartment 45 minutes later, you do not expect him to arrive bearing gifts. Unless, of course, he bought your gifts at the drug store.

Extra Strength Pamprin and a Hot Water Bottle

That’s right, folks. Extra strength PMS meds and a funky hot water bottle for cramps. That should make the gargantuan task of scaling back the bitchy just a bit easier. In the mean time, suggest boyfriend goes to the bar with friends.

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14 Comments leave one →
  1. November 30, 2011 1:10 pm

    I think the boyfriend does need to hit the bar with friends. He doesn’t happen to have a helmet and Kevlar vest, does he? Hahahaha!

    PMS is a bitch in itself–it’s no wonder it makes us bitchy, too.

  2. November 30, 2011 1:11 pm

    P.S. love the funky water bottle.

    • November 30, 2011 2:39 pm

      lol! If he had swat gear, he definitely put it on! The scull and cross bones suited my mood – probably his, too. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. November 30, 2011 4:11 pm

    LOL! I’ve been waiting for this post all week, and I LOVE the hot water bottle! Your boyfriend definitely gets an “A” for effort.

    • November 30, 2011 4:58 pm

      And creativity! When the old stand by of chocolate doesn’t work, where do you go, really?

  4. November 30, 2011 5:14 pm

    Since I’ve been communicating with all of you younger ladies lately, the other night, I tried to play the PMS card. My husband rolled his eyes and said, “Nice try, but remember, you don’t have a uterus.” Damn, I didn’t realize he understood that relationship. Love the water bottle!

    • November 30, 2011 5:37 pm

      Kudos to you for trying! Maybe next time show him this post and say you are having sympathy pains. Then he’ll be like, sympathy pains for what? And you can be all, like, “My lost youth and missing uterus, you assflake!” Then burst into tears until he brings you chocolate and funky hot water bottles.

      I mean, sure there is always the option of getting your own chocolate but I think that could work…

  5. November 30, 2011 8:44 pm

    Love the water bottle! Definitely a creative alternative to chocolate. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • December 1, 2011 3:29 am

      Yes, the water bottle is now among my most prized possessions; it looks cool AND it really worked some magic on those cramps.

  6. November 30, 2011 10:33 pm

    Wow, they make PMS meds?

  7. November 30, 2011 11:03 pm

    Ahhh…the dreaded PMS syncs up even when you don’t live near each other! Is that possible? I don’t know but you seem to have caught my mood. We can be bitchy together! RAWR!

  8. December 1, 2011 1:11 am

    I was in such a hurry to comment earlier I totally missed the skull and crossbones on the water bottle! OMG so funny! I need a t-shirt like that with a caption “proceed with caution” for once a month.

    • December 1, 2011 3:34 am

      I must have caught it from you, Erica. I am not usually this terrible. As long as I eat chocolate and stay away from alcohol for that week, I usually just have minor cramping and a desire to be left alone. For some reason I turned into a crazed angry person doubled over at the waist due to an unfair amount of pain. PLUS I gained three pounds in the span of just as many minutes.

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