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Retro Christmas Decorations of Death

December 13, 2011

When I was a kid, there were certain things that went on our tree every year. For one reason or another over the years, many of those things fell from the tree trimming roster. Here are a few examples.

Let’s begin with this:

Evergreen tree

Evergreen tree

The actual tree. When I was a kid, we would stuff ourselves into our snow suits and wade through the waist deep expanse of back yard snow. We would pick the first tree we saw on the edge of the forest that looked like it had the potential to fit in our home and saw it down. Nowadays, this is considered a fire hazard. Condo rules do not allow real trees in the building. I have to say, I am totally cool with this.

Let’s move on to the lights:

bubbly lights

bubbly lights

These were my favourite lights. Unfortunately the bubbly little buggers also turned out to be a form of scalding poison, if they broke open. And a fire hazard, I believe.

Before LED’s, we also had these multi-coloured energy suckers:

old fashion light bulbs

Watching your parents go insane whilst trying to untangle them and then find the burnt out bulb was more fun than actually decorating the tree.

Next we had wads and wads of sparkly tinsel. In my house it had to be silver, not that tacky gold stuff.

silver tinsel

Yeah, this tradition came to an end when the cat, in pure panic mode, ran full speed across the table with tinsel streaming from her ass. I laughed until my sides hurt while all of our guests shoved their plates away in disgust.

Finally we had the popcorn strands:

popcorn strands

popcorn strands

The only thing that sucked more than stringing together thousands of popped kernels of corn was discovering on Christmas morning that your house, and now Christmas tree, was infested with mice. Well, at least Tinsel, as we now affectionately called the cat, was happy with that fun turn of events. She lived out the rest of the holidays stealthily perched within the Christmas tree.

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10 Comments leave one →
  1. December 13, 2011 8:55 pm

    This year I decided to decorate my tree with ornaments that my grandmother made, which I thought was a great idea until my little Jack Russell Terrier decided Santa had arrived early with a whole tree full of chew toys! Fortunately, she only got a hold of three ornaments. I should have thought about that scenario before seeing beads and yarn scattered all over the living room!

    • December 13, 2011 10:52 pm

      lol! I gathered all of my grandma’s handmade ornaments in one spot to take a pic for next week’s Time Warp Tuesday’s post. The results were about the same except my cat is the person who took a special interest in the items.

  2. December 13, 2011 9:35 pm

    DC, it’s amazing we all survived our childhoods with all of the hazards we had to endure through Christmas. Funny stuff, sweetie.

    • December 13, 2011 10:54 pm

      Yup, it was like our childhoods were filled with sparkly little landmines.

  3. December 13, 2011 10:47 pm

    I insist on the old school lights my dad handed down to me…it just doesn’t look right with the new ones..

    • December 13, 2011 10:58 pm

      You are so right. It is one of the many things my boyfriend has on his wish list. His wish list is similar to a regular person’s wish list except it is full of things that he wishes would go away because they make him angry.

  4. December 14, 2011 9:24 pm

    Oooh, tinsel. I always loved it! But it’s so evil!

  5. December 14, 2011 11:16 pm

    my mom used to make my dad put up hundreds of those lights, lol

  6. December 14, 2011 11:47 pm

    We would start to put them up, get frustrated then throw them on a bush.

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