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Girlesque Burlesque!

February 1, 2012

Girlesque Burlesque Jan 27 2012I decided to take my boyfriend out on a date this past weekend. Don’t get me wrong, we go out all the time (one of the benefits of being childless and dual income) but I felt the urge to do something a little, well, different. I did a little online  research and voila! I found the perfect place to take him; a burlesque show right here in Toronto!

Before the big night, I happened to find myself at the workplace of one of my friend’s boyfriends. We discussed weekend plans and I mentioned my hot date. He wanted in. Hurrah! A surprise double date was set. So when Friday night rolled around I went straight from a 12 hour shift after five hours sleep to Revival for the special live show, Girlesque.

Girlesque at Revival, 2012

Let me start by saying that some parts of the evening were better than others.  Overall, I had a very fun time BUT some things totally annoyed me.  For example:

  • I tried to purchase a VIP table online but I was not given the option. There was no indication that the VIP tables had sold out so, after not receiving a response to phone calls and sent emails, we decided risk it and see if we could get a VIP table at the door. We took a gamble and we lost.
  • The show started over an hour late. Which meant I stood in the very cold weather for an hour waiting to get inside. After having spent all day on my feet, I did not want to pay $40 to stand in a spot where I could only see a snippet of the stage. The manager assured me that he would do his best to find all four of us seats. After we paid to get in, he disappeared with nary a glance for seating. And the place was so crowded, there was no way I could even see the stage.
  • The kitchen was closed. After eating only a tea biscuit all day, I was counting on that kitchen being open. I decided to slow down on the gin & tonics for obvious reasons.
  • The MC was terrible. He was dressed as a werewolf for fug’s sake. WTF does a werewolf have to do with burlesque?
  • This is just personal opinion, and I know the event was called Girlesque, but I would have loved to see just one man in drag do his thing on stage. At one point I was sure one of the dancer’s was a man but, nope. The boobs were girl boobs for sure.
Girlesque at Revival in Toronto

Girlesque at Revival in Toronto

Now on to the good parts!

I cajoled, grumbled and harangued them to open the balcony for seating. That finally happened during the first act, which happened to be Marie Antoinette. So eventually we had comfortable seats and a full view of the stage. My boyfriend even found me a cupcake so my mood improved considerably. Aside from that, I have to admit, the good parts belonged to almost all of the dancers. There was only one act I was truly unimpressed with. She did not smile at all, she just kind of rolled around on the floor and then stomped off after she had shimmied out of most of her clothing. But let’s talk about the rest of the dancers.

They (the dancers) came in all shapes and sizes and, while some of them were not traditionally beautiful, they  looked looked stunning and sexy on stage. Every dancer had her own schtick. For example, one girl danced to the song Hair and when she took off her her bikini bottom, she had a big mop of fake hair covering her Brittany. Sounds icky but it was very cute and fun. Another girl stripped down to her tassels and vegazzle (bedazzled vag) via bubbly balloon popping.  A very talented pole  dancer took off her bikini top while suspended mid pole by the sheer force of her thighs. She was amazing! The headliner for the night, Miss Indigo Blue, gave us a sultry and suspenseful feather fan dance, and one girl had light up nipples and matching vajajay. So fun!

My favourite dancer by far is one named Midnite Martini. After seeing her act, I will never look at a common folding chair in the same way again. At one point, I am pretty sure she removed one of her stockings with her teeth. I looked for a video online and found her performing a similar act at a different night club. Unfortunately, in this performance, Midnite Martini did not perform her most impressive act of the Girlesque evening. So please just imagine her laying a chair on it’s back and stepping into the space between the seat and back of the folding chair. Somehow she tilted the chair upwards until she was laying with her stomach flat on the seat. In one fluid motion, she flipped herself onto her back and slid through the chair, simultaneously slipping out of her dress. In other words, the chair removed her dress for her. It was during this incredible manoeuvre that my boyfriend leaned over and whispered, “Best Date. Ever.”

Would I recommend the show? Yes! Would I go back? Definitely! I would just make sure to book a V.I.P table and eat a decent meal before hand.

Girlesque Burlesque Toronto

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