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Music Monday: Worst Wedding Songs Ever

May 7, 2012

Some things seem like a good idea at the time. For example, when I was a bored, precocious teen stuck at my aunt’s wedding. I was dying for the dancing to get started so I convinced the already drunk person in control of the music (one of the groom’s friends as they couldn’t afford a DJ) to kick things off with White Wedding. He agreed it would be hilarious to forgo their planned first dance song for some Billy Idol, especially because the young bride was indeed quite pregnant. Luckily my aunt just shrugged and joined me in the middle of the dance floor, where we proceeded to bust a move. Where was the groom, you ask? Getting stoned behind the rec centre with his grooms men. Thank goodness they had me to get the party started.

About a year later, my mother decided to wed. The wedding was slightly higher class. It took place in a fancy hotel and the centre pieces were not odd baskets fashioned from old bleach bottles and robin’s egg blue lace. Needless to say, the first dance, a Linda Rondstant duet, went off perfectly. She also had a DJ so it took much more stealth on my part to trick him into playing an inappropriate song. I asked him to play a mixed tape with my mom’s favourite song. Midway through it cut into Me So Horny by 2 Live Crew. Heh heh. My mom’s marriage only lasted a year but the look on Aunt Shirley‘s face is a priceless memory my mother and I will hold on to forever.

Unlike White Wedding and Me So Horny, there are some songs, however, that might not be so obviously a wrong choice for a wedding playlist.Β  You know, if you don’t bother listening to all of the words. So just in case you are planning to get hitched anytime soon, I have decided to compile a list of what I believe are the worst wedding songs people might choose to play on their big day.

















17 Comments leave one →
  1. May 7, 2012 9:54 am

    Okay one to add, Three Times a Lady by the Comadores, sounds so romantic, but it is reaaly a break up song, Lady by Kenny Rogers can also fall into that catagory, she had left him. But otherwise, yes, a couple of them I heard as first songs. Lol

    • May 7, 2012 3:23 pm

      I know those songs and you’re absolutely correct. I’m going to have to update my list. πŸ™‚

  2. May 7, 2012 11:42 am

    I sometimes wonder what people think when they choose some wedding songs. They are just so wrong.

    • May 7, 2012 3:22 pm

      I know. I’m usually tipsy by the first dance so it is very difficult for me not to offer an exaggerated eye roll.

  3. May 7, 2012 12:15 pm

    None of these are as wrong as hearing the bride’s mother give a fire and brimstone wedding reading followed by the bride’s mother singing (BADLY!!) From This Moment On.

    But it would be really hard to be worse than that LOL, so that’s not saying much.

    • May 7, 2012 3:21 pm

      LOL! Ciara, my drunk cousin at his wedding gave the worst speech I’d ever heard. He went on and on about all of the awesome stuff he’s done and places he’d been. He finished up with the romantic sentiment that he could’ve had ANY girl he wanted but decided to come home and marry a “good ole Toronto gal.:

  4. May 7, 2012 8:04 pm

    White Wedding is a Billy Idol song.

  5. May 7, 2012 8:16 pm

    This list RULES. I would only add Soft Cell’s “Tainted Love” (and/or Marilyn Manson’s version to boot!) and Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On”, partially because it’s about a dead boyfriend and partially because it sucks.

    Fantastic post!! πŸ˜€

    • May 7, 2012 9:50 pm

      Thanks Lisa. And that settles it. I’m doing a follow up post with your and Lyssa’s suggestions. If anyone else has one to add, please leave it in the comments. πŸ˜€

  6. May 7, 2012 10:24 pm

    Sure With or Without You from U2 on title alone. Of course If you’re going that route may I suggest never playing “I Still Haven’t found what I’m Looking For” either

    • May 8, 2012 1:24 am

      You’d be surprised how many times I’ve heard With or Without You blaring at a reception, although never for a first dance. πŸ™‚ I will definitely include I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For in my follow up. Thanks for the awesome suggestion!


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