Music Monday: Worst Wedding Songs Ever

Some things seem like a good idea at the time. For example, when I was a bored, precocious teen stuck at my aunt’s wedding. I was dying for the dancing to get started so I convinced the already drunk person in control of the music (one of the groom’s friends as they couldn’t afford a DJ) to kick things off with White Wedding. He agreed it would be hilarious to forgo their planned first dance song for some Billy Idol, especially because the young bride was indeed quite pregnant. Luckily my aunt just shrugged and joined me in the middle of the dance floor, where we proceeded to bust a move. Where was the groom, you ask? Getting stoned behind the rec centre with his grooms men. Thank goodness they had me to get the party started.

About a year later, my mother decided to wed. The wedding was slightly higher class. It took place in a fancy hotel and the centre pieces were not odd baskets fashioned from old bleach bottles and robin’s egg blue lace. Needless to say, the first dance, a Linda Rondstant duet, went off perfectly. She also had a DJ so it took much more stealth on my part to trick him into playing an inappropriate song. I asked him to play a mixed tape with my mom’s favourite song. Midway through it cut into Me So Horny by 2 Live Crew. Heh heh. My mom’s marriage only lasted a year but the look on Aunt Shirley‘s face is a priceless memory my mother and I will hold on to forever.

Unlike White Wedding and Me So Horny, there are some songs, however, that might not be so obviously a wrong choice for a wedding playlist.  You know, if you don’t bother listening to all of the words. So just in case you are planning to get hitched anytime soon, I have decided to compile a list of what I believe are the worst wedding songs people might choose to play on their big day.

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