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Magic Mike: My Half-Assed Review

July 31, 2012

Of course I had to see Magic Mike.

My boyfriend wasn’t too into it. He’s a good sport, though, so he took one for the team when another couple whom we’re good friends wanted to go as well. But the boyfriend wanted to have a few drinks before we dragged him to the theatre. He received no arguments from me.

We met our friends at an excellent little Italian bistro and had a few drinks. Then we had a few more. After that, just because the movie was not going to start for another hour, we all had another. And then a round of vodka/sodas at the theatre. Needless to say, we were a tad beyond tipsy when we arrived just in time for the Magic Mike to start.

The theatre was not too crowded, which was excellent because one half of the couple we were with is a huge Channing Tatum fan and he had no issues with hooting and whooping every time the actor took off his shirt. Like me, his boyfriend was much more into Adam Rodriguez but we decided to be good sports and joined in with a few “woos”. Normally I hate people who add their own commentary in a theatre  but Magic Mike wasn’t a real movie so the cheers only added to the fun. Other people in the movie joined in with us, except one girl who told my friend to shut up so I called her a bitch. She put up with our enthusiasm in sullen silence for the rest of the film.

Anyway, on to the movie.

Magic Mike was entertaining and fun. The conversational style / character interaction reminded me of  a Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill  type film. It is difficult for me to describe, other than every time I see a movie like this I always wonder if the writers just wrote the gist of a script and told the actors to go ahead and ad-lib the rest.  Unfortunately I don’t think the characters in this movie were clever enough to pull that off.

I mentioned above that Magic Mike wasn’t a real movie. It’s only real downfall was that there was a half-ass effort towards the end to make it feel like one. I mean, the audience knows why we’re there. We’ve owned up to it and we’re barely embarrassed about it. We don’t need anything other than a slight semblance of a plot to string together the eye candy and crass jokes. Why fuck up a good thing by trying to add some drama to it?

Anyway, just for you, I asked my very drunk friends to offer up a one-sentence thought about the movie. Here is what I have to report back to you:

Friend One: Why the fuck didn’t we get to see any penises?

Friend Two: This movie would’ve been so much better if they just gave us more Adam Rodriguez.

Boyfriend: I realize this movie is made for female and gay audiences but they could have put some effort into finding a hot female lead.

At this point, the boyfriend and I got into a mini argument because I told him Cody Horn is pretty in her own way, to which he answered, in her own way is code for homely, and then I accused him of putting words in mouth, blah, blah, blah.


Friend’s comments and the tiny tiff aside, I would say anyone who is in the mood for a little mindless fun should gather up some girlfriends and go see Magic Mike. If nothing else, the laugh you will get from the penis pump will make it well worth it.

magic mike

Image credit and link to a much more articulate/insightful review of Magic Mike.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. July 31, 2012 1:24 pm

    I saw it this weekend as well after a few drinks. I found the movie entertaining. And while I could care less about boobs in movies…I did think there should have been more penis shots then boob shots. After all…like you said above. Women and gay men are who this movie was for…I really could have cared less about boobs. Just a few tip shots and I would’ve been happy. But, all in all, it was an entertaining movie to the tipsy. 🙂

    • July 31, 2012 1:50 pm

      YES, I think everyone can agree it needed to show a penis or two. Had there been a few boobs thrown in, the bf would’ve probably been a happy camper. I don’t know why he had such an aversion to Cody Horn. Perhaps if the sister’s role was played by Mila Kunis then he would’ve enjoyed himself more.

  2. July 31, 2012 4:14 pm

    I’m laughing now. I can imagine the look on that girl’s face when you called her a bitch.
    I enjoyed this film but didn’t get drinks until after. Damn! I should have had my alcohol intake before.

    • July 31, 2012 8:05 pm

      I usually don’t call people names when I’m drinking. I’m probably the world’s happiest drunk but she totally deserved the name calling. 🙂

  3. July 31, 2012 5:06 pm

    your commentary/review was freakin’ hilarious. I went with a pack of women, who went with other packs of women, and the theater had more estrogen and cougars than er… a DCMcMillen novella!!

    The very multiracial local ladies in Hawaii are loud, proud male objectifiers! We vanilla haoles skulked in, all sheepish, until the lights went down.

    It was an EXPERIENCE. The howling, hooting, popcorn-throwing…like a Rocky Horror Picture show on steroids!!

    merciful dark hid my blushes and mortification (I can too easily imagine being one of those front row ninnies cowering and yet titillated) and I have to agree with your bf, the female lead was unconvincingly wooden and as a booby woman myself, I found her flat chest just, sad. Like a little starveling pullet. I like to look at beautiful women too!

    That said, I thought Channing showed some soul that was semi-believable, I liked the attempt at a plot.

    All through it, I felt kept thinking about my totally beautiful, muscular, blond 25-y0 son who wants to break into the movie industry and SAYS he’s working at a tech firm graveyard shift…there could be a whole other thing going on that this mama doesn’t want to accidentally end up seeing.

    All things I can’t talk about on MY blog! Yikes!

    • July 31, 2012 8:07 pm

      Now that I think about it, she did look a little emaciated in that bikini.

      25 year olds are allowed their secrets. Just keep being impressed with his tech firm job and strong work ethic. 😉

  4. July 31, 2012 5:12 pm

    See, if I were step past tipsy, and someone complained about the Lack of Hot Chicks, it’d have been a throw down. *lol*

  5. GrandeMocha permalink
    July 31, 2012 5:57 pm

    LOVED the stripper parts of the movies. Not so much the talky parts. I would like this on DVD so I can fast forward to the good stuff!!! And drink.

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