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Is Being Terrible So Bad?

August 4, 2012

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So I’m sitting with the bf, we’re watching the news. The reporters relay a story about a college student who drove off a cliff, seriously injuring himself after texting, ‘I should stop texting while I’m driving or I could die’. This is the point when many people would gasp at the horror and irony. Yeah, not me. Before I can stop myself, I giggle. Then I giggle some more. Pretty soon, tears are rolling down my cheeks and I’m holding my sides.

“I’m a horrible person,” I gasp between my finally dying chuckles.

“Yes, you are, Sweetie, and that’s why I love you.”

“Why would he even text that? Why wouldn’t he just think it and then stop fucking texting?”

One last hiccup and I manage to stop laughing entirely. Then the reporter says, “[blah blah blah] …as obvious as the terrible scars on his face and neck.” and I almost fall off the sofa, I’m laughing so hard.

“Who writes this shit?” I cry.

“Someone who should spend more time texting and driving.”

“Now you’re the horrible person,” I sober up.

“It takes one to love one,” responds the smart ass boyfriend.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. August 4, 2012 8:12 am

    I have to agree with you, D. C. People who text and drive are just asking for trouble. I can’t even safely text and walk! To me it would be like reading and driving….. so not safe. But I would do the same thing you did most likely. Such irreverence makes us better people. Lol

    • August 5, 2012 2:58 pm

      Yes, texting and driving is not safe. This guy tempted fate on a whole ‘nutha level. 😀

  2. August 4, 2012 3:51 pm

    Bet he gets an entry in the Darwin awards even if he did survive.

  3. juliabarrett permalink
    August 5, 2012 2:03 am

    I was sitting with someone who was pontificating about how he never chokes when he chews on those sharp wooden toothpicks, when he choked on the toothpick. I was laughing so hard I couldn’t help him. I actually fell off my chair. Someone else had to call 9-1-1 while I convulsed in hysterical laughter.
    I too am a terrible person.

    • August 5, 2012 3:03 pm

      Bwahahaha! That reminds me of a “first” date I was on. The guy asked if I wanted to eat the chili pepper on our appetizer platter. “Isn’t that really spicy?” I asked. He told me that, no, it was not. It was just a bit tangy. Then he bit into it and almost died. His face turned beet red, tears streaming as he started to choke. The waitress ran over with a pitcher of water while I laughed my ass off.

  4. August 6, 2012 12:38 am

    My Mum only watches downhill skiing in the hopes someone with fall over. It’s not fun if theydon’t, apparently. Do you feel better now?

    And Dad and I are avid readers of the Darwin Awards.

    You’re not horrible, you just appreciate natural selection at work!

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