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Friday Spotlight: DeLeetra Staley, Plus Amazon GC Up for Grabs

September 28, 2012

DeLeetra J. Staley Bio PictureWe have an awesome Friday Spotlight this week. Not only will you meet a fun and fabulous erotic humour writer, you will also have the opportunity to win a $25 Amazon gift card. As if that is not quite enough for you, thanks to the naughty nature of DeLeetra’s contest, you might just have as much fun reading the contest entries as you will her guest post. Okay. I’ve set the mood, let’s get started! DeLeetra, I hand you the floor…

Hello DC thank you for the invite I am excited to be here,

Everyone has their own idea of these two things: comedy and erotica.  I find that the two together make for a great read.  It is not easy to combine chick-lit romance and erotica romance.  There is a balance, because you want to keep equal shares of both.  You want your sex scenes steamy, and you want your humor kept out of the bedroom.  I, on the other hand, believe that those moments of “is this really happening” or “the worst sex ever” become the funniest stories ever told.  No one wants to speak of those embarrassing moments that lead to a visit to the ER.  If you didn’t die, it’s a funny story you can tell all your friends.

Come on. We have all heard about falling off the bed and breaking a bone because you were trying something new.  Okay, so maybe that is just me.  Either way, it’s hard to explain to a doctor that you hurt yourself because you forgot you’re not as flexible as you used to be, or that you knocked yourself unconscious because you wanted to spice it up, caught a Charley horse, and fell off the dresser, or that you were trying to be sexy and tripped over your own feet in a pair of stilettos. Have you ever tried explaining to your friends how you got rug burn on your forehead?   Yes, if you are as clumsy as most people I have encountered, this does happen, and it is gut busting, almost pee-your-pants hilarious.

Most times, the story begins with four simple words “what had happened was.” Every great story begins that way and ends with everyone falling on the floor laughing.  Seriously, there is no humor like the comedy that goes on in the bedroom while you are getting horizontal.  I hope everyone has had a lover that wanted to be aggressive. He grabs your hips to pound you from behind.  Well, he wasn’t holding on tight enough and you go flying across the bed. You slide into home plate and end up hanging off the bed holding yourself up with your hands.  In your mind you think “you have got to be kidding me”, but he laughs picks you up and says “let us try that again”.  Now, you are both laughing like loons and your erotic moment begins over with that element of fun.  Who says erotica can’t be funny, not this woman.  Trust me when I say, some of my best bedroom times included very unlikely, humorous moments.

Please, someone tell me I am not the only one?  Hey, that sounds like a wonderful idea.  Leave a comment about your funniest moment; a kiss, make-out session, trying to be sexy moment or a sexual experience that leaves you in cracking up.  The funniest story will win a $25.00 gift card from Amazon.com.

Thanks DC for having me and I hope you all enjoy my erotic/chick-lit A Little Mini-Madness.  A hilarious, erotic romance novel. Quintessa James is a top of the line temp agent who meets Alejandro Galliani, a domineering businessman in desperate need of a personal assistant. Watch the sparks fly as these two alpha personalities try to fight falling in love.

As most people who have ever read my blog or books know, I love erotic humour. And I LOVE this contest! Folks, before you try to win that $25 Amazon gift card by filling up the comments section with your most embarrassing intimate moment, let’s learn a little more about DeLeetra and her latest release.

DeLeetra J. Staley, Bio:

First, this is my dream come true and I am thankful for every moment God has given me. I was born and raised in the South.  I have one brother, two sisters, a niece and nephew, I love them so much. My mother and father have always encouraged me to do what makes me happy. I have a degree in biology and I work in a library on a college campus. I have always had stories in my head just floating around and then one day a few years ago I decided to put one on paper. I do write a bit of poetry that I like to call “out of my brain onto the canvas”.  I am a bit strange, odd, a tad bit crazy, and weird; I am enjoying every moment.  This has been the most nerve racking, wonderful, insane experience of my life. I am blessed and I could not have asked for anything more. My name is on a book that in itself is fabulous. To have others reading my book makes it amazing. I love cats and I enjoy life. Laughter truly is the best medicine.

 

A Little Mini-Madness Book CoverA Little Mini – Madness, Blurb:

Meet Quintessa Nevaeh James. A strong, independent, take charge woman with one flaw, she has a habit of thinking out loud. Quint also has an addiction to shoes, that might be reason she has no man, she’s never meet a man she loved more than her heels. Quint works for TGP(Thoroughly Groomed Personnel), one of the top temp agency’s in New York. She is career oriented and thinks she only needs a man for the basics, which all revolve around the bedroom. Love is for suckers as far as Quint is concerned.

In walks Alejandro Sin’Jin Galliani, a successful businessman, in desperate need of a temporary personal assistant. With his domineering, alpha male personality Quint can tell that Alejandro is a man accustomed to getting what he wants, and he wants Quint. But this time Alejandro may have bitten off more than he can chew, while Quint is wondering if there is more to this arrangement then him needing a top notch PA?

Take everyday humor and the odd things that can happen when two people fall in love, then top it off with three nosey friends, a diva Siamese cat and a witch of a boss and A Little Mini-Madness will have you wondering why everyday isn’t a shoe shopping day.

A little Mini – Madness, Excerpt:

Guess what stupid? You ain’t got no keys.  Fuck!  I’ll just walk two miles, what the hell? On second thought, a taxi.  I need a drink.  Be careful what you wish for cause you just may get that orgasmic climax that you were wanting yesterday.  Of course you would get it from the one person you don’t need it from.  Yeah, Mr. I-don’t-want-a-future, and here I just thought it would be sex. No, because I am honest, if not with everyone else I am with myself.  I like him. He’s an alpha male so what can you expect? Well you can expect the son of bitch to be sitting on your door step, with your keys in his hand, petting your cat, the damn traitor.  Although, I know she has to be content, those hands could make me purr.  I hate that damn cat. Why can’t a body just go home to masturbate, or have lunch, whatever.  The man was a curse.  Shit! Damn you Galliani, a plague on both your houses.

 Quint tried to think of a quick way out of this mess but she was so mad that all she could do was pace back and forth.  Here she was, a grown woman hiding in the bushes across the street from her own house trying to avoid the stalker on the front steps.  As cars drove past all they saw was a deranged woman peeking across the street and pacing while talking to herself.  One of them was either going to call the cops or the psychiatric ward to have her tossed in a padded cell with a straight jacket.

“You have got to be kidding me.  The man had balls of brass, no make that diamond encrusted brass balls,” grumbled Quint

Now what?  She could go though the bedroom window.  It was good to own a house with a big backyard and a large fence for keeping out nosey neighbors.  Break into your own house with no problems?  Yeah boy, “I win Galliani,” Quint said in a small whisper. Quint had performed this particular stunt many times.  Picture it, late night and you forgot your key… ok, so it was a late night and the date you left at the restaurant has shown up at your house.  To make a long story short, you snuck in the back and went to bed and he slept on your porch and was still there in the morning waiting for you to come home, so off to work out the back door.  Quint needed to work on her people skills.

As she rounded the back of the house the coast was clear.  One problem, she’d never tried this in a skirt while going commando, so this should be fun.   The window was open, “Yes I am a genius, I know.  New York and you leave the window open but everything is insured down to my favorite pair of pumps.  Yeah I got Geico.  Just kidding, I love those commercials.  Anyway, back to climbing and escaping for another forty-five minutes.”   Quint had just gotten her upper body through the window when a pair of strong hands grabbed her ankles and started sliding up.

“You know Ms. James, from this angle I can almost see what belongs to me”

“Get your hands off my person now, you sick weirdo.” Okay so she was theweirdo in the window but he was the perverted man with his hands on her thighs.   God, it felt like heaven, or hell with all the heat, and she could smell him.  His scent invaded her and she wasn’t even facing him.

Now what would a sane person do at this moment?  You’re caught by the person you are running from and the window seems a little on the tight side.  Note to self, go to the gym, and pick up underwear, and rat poison.  Do you A) close your eyes and pray for him to get struck by lightning or B) just play it cool?  And are those his lips?

“What are you doing?  I have neighbors, and get your dirty mouth off of me.  Are you mad?”

“Mad?” he chuckled “You’re asking me if I’m mad?  Lady you’re hanging half way out of your own window.  What?  Did you forget your key?” he asked in a mocking tone.

“Do you mind?  I’m busy, go away.  Besides, I had new carpet put in and I always use the window.”  Now that was just lame but you try coming up with a reasonable excuse on such short notice.

“I heard you didn’t lie well, now I can see it’s the truth.” Why was he laughing.  Quint was not amused.

His hands are doing this circular motion and now it’s just the tips of his fingers.  They seem to be going for the gold.  He ran just the tip of one finger up the inside of my lips and my body shuddered.  One more of those and it’s on like popcorn. To hell with no, all he’s going to hear is more.  I can hear him suck his finger and growl in the back of his throat.  That’s the only way to describe it, like something on animal planet.  My pussy wanted to cry and if it could talk…

“This is not funny, and if you touch me again I’m going to…” Quint tried sounding as stern as any person could in this situation.

“To come?  Climax?  Ignite with passion, explode with multiple orgasms? Your mouth is saying no, but mypussy is saying come get some. Q, you taste like honeysuckle and your scent is doing things to me that even I have never felt. I’ve never been this crazed.  This kind of hunger is all consuming.  I ache with the need.”  Quint could feel his breath on her thigh and his mouth brushed the outside of her lips.

Find Deleetra and her book here:

Facebook Author Page:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/DeLeetra-J-Staley/479693995392824?ref=hl

Goodreads Author Page:

http://www.goodreads.com/djstaley

Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/A-Little-Mini-Madness-DeLeetra-Staley/dp/1478297476/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1348452035&sr=8-1&keywords=deleetra+staley

Editor Page:

http://www.triquetrastudio.com/

Pinterest:

http://pinterest.com/deejoi/

Thanks for stopping by, DeLeetra, and for hosting such an awesome contest!

 

 

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17 Comments leave one →
  1. September 28, 2012 1:24 pm

    LOL! Great post DeLeetra! Well, I never thought I’d admit it, but hubby and I had a major suction-type thing going on one night…that had nothing whatsoever to do with flatulence on my part!! I swear! But we had a good laugh. Congrats on your book!

  2. September 28, 2012 2:15 pm

    I know I can’t actually enter the contest (damn) but I want to play along, regardless.

    The boyfriend and I were rolling around on the bed, clothes flying everywhere. Our new puppy thought we were playing so she jumped on to the bed, barking and yelping, crawling all over us. The BF tried to just push her away and keep on keeping on but that just made her more determined to be in on the fun. In an instant, she had wriggled herself between us and started happily licking our faces. Mood killed.

    Now we make sure to shut the door.

  3. juliabarrett permalink
    September 28, 2012 3:02 pm

    Hilarious! Great post. My bedroom foibles always involve things like banging my head on the headboard, falling off the bed and breaking a finger, the one time my husband was so excited (because our baseball team made it to the World Series) that he threw me over his shoulder to carry me off to bed and broke one of my ribs… Yup. We laugh after the fact!

  4. DeLeetra J. Staley permalink
    September 28, 2012 6:33 pm

    Hahaha you ladies are wonderful. I am glad I am not the only one who has falling off the bed. Thank you so much for your stories they are awesome. You guys rock.

  5. September 28, 2012 10:06 pm

    My husband and I were newly married (a million point three years ago) and he still owned the car his parents had bought for him in high school. Thanks to a former sorority sister who married well, we were on our way to spend three completely self-indulgent days in her condo at the beach. We packed our bags in his T-top ’88 Camero, and took off. We hadn’t even made it out of the trailer park (I swear I’m not making this up) when we heard a horrible grinding noise in the back. It went away after a mile or so, but kept coming back every so often. With two hundred miles left to go, my husband decided we had to pull over to see what was wrong.

    When you pull over on the interstate in the near-dark, you just might attract the attention of a state trooper. The officer pulled up behind us and left his lights on so he could see. When we explained there was a weird grindy noise coming from the back of the car, he was nice enough to look.

    “Maybe this is it?” he asked, holding up my vibrator. The switch had been hit when I put it in our luggage next to my skimpy jammies. The grindy part of the noise was it was sitting on top of the handcuffs my husband had put in there.

    Thankfully, even though vibrators are illegal in my state (no shit, look it up), the cop let us go WITH my toy.

  6. September 29, 2012 12:26 am

    I was going to play, but Lorca with her vibrator and handcuffs, I can’t beat. Bowing…

  7. September 29, 2012 7:35 am

    When my DH and I were first together, we were actually staying with his parents. Their house has single wall construction (i.e. the smallest noise travels everywhere). One day we blissfully thought we were alone and took the the bedroom. Low and behold somewhere in the middle we (I?) realized….that on the OTHER SIDE OF THE WALL was my FIL and some of his buddies…now sitting at the dining room table. We didn’t come out …for quite a long time.

  8. ciaraballintyne permalink
    September 29, 2012 7:59 am

    The single solitary detention I got at school was for, can you believe it, kissing in the playground! My first husband was, once again, more trouble than he was worth….

  9. September 29, 2012 11:28 pm

    I love it Lorca, Ciara, Malia you ladies have me laughing all over the place. Come on Kelly jump on in. I want to say keep them coming ladies you guys are amazing and thank you. I am enjoying myself.

  10. September 29, 2012 11:42 pm

    I’ll say this: With my first husband, who wasn’t that great in bed, I had a perfect way to make him lose interest. In my best Marge Simpson voice I would say, “Oh, yeah, baby, right there.” It was like deflating a balloon. Worked every time.

  11. September 30, 2012 12:59 am

    Hahaha Kelly that is too funny. You did not do that? That is hilarious.

  12. September 30, 2012 1:52 pm

    Lol, The things you learn. Lorca you’ve got me beat on the trooper story, but it reminded me of one of my embarrassing sexapades. Let me just preface this story with the fact that horniness lowers your IQ by at least half. When my now hubby and I first started dating back in college, we always seemed to have problems waiting to find a bed to get it on.

    One day we were at Walmart picking up windshield wiper fluid and somehow ended up making out in the Auto shop aisle. We were smart enough (just barely) to take the show on the road, And by road I mean to his then giant station wagon which he was only able to drive to the closest parking garage (top floor) before we parked and zippers started dropping and tops flying.

    We had only a few seconds of post coitus glow before the car was lit up with lights. A local police officer was out on patrol and watched the whole thing! He told us don’t worry I waited for the the car to stop rocking, next time just take a blanket to the beach! After checking our IDs he literally tipped his hat and drove away.

    I wish I can say that was the last time we had sex in that station wagon. I loved that damn car. .

  13. October 2, 2012 1:20 am

    I was so inspired by the puppy on the bed story that I had to share again, but sadly, ours is not a cute tale of puppy love. EVERY TIME my husband and I would head to the bedroom, our stupid dog would drag her pillow pet in there and hump away. Nothing kills my husband’s mood like competition, especially when he thinks the dog has a better rhythm than he does. First, our dog was a girl, so what the hell was she doing to that pillow? Second, the pillow pet (also a dog) had this horribly goofy but very satisfied expression stitched to its little squishy face. This was during the Bill Clinton impeachment year, so my husband named the pillow pet Buddy the White House Dog.

  14. October 2, 2012 3:27 am

    You guys are killing me I am cracking up over here. Thank you all so much for the stories and the laugh because I am doing that a lot.

  15. Colleen permalink
    October 5, 2012 3:49 am

    Dee, I have a good story for you but, for obvious reasons can’t share it here. These stories are funny and great! Keep it up ladies!

  16. October 5, 2012 3:44 pm

    Hahaha Ma Whitworth I am sure you do and yes lets not do that, but you can tell me later ;). I just want to say thank you so much to all the ladies who participated I really appriceate you guys so much. I enjoyed the stories you guys are so awesome. The winner will be announced this weekend. Thanks again.

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