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Sex Gone Wrong, Best Entries

October 8, 2012

Last week, DeLeetra Staley hosted one of the funnest contests we’ve held on the e-rotica blog to date. Up for grabs was a $25 Amazon gift certificate to a commenter who offered up an embarrassing and true sexy story. We had some hilarious entries but the hands down winner is (drum roll please) Lorca Damon.

Here is Lorca’s entry!

My husband and I were newly married (a million point three years ago) and he still owned the car his parents had bought for him in high school. Thanks to a former sorority sister who married well, we were on our way to spend three completely self-indulgent days in her condo at the beach. We packed our bags in his T-top ’88 Camero, and took off. We hadn’t even made it out of the trailer park (I swear I’m not making this up) when we heard a horrible grinding noise in the back. It went away after a mile or so, but kept coming back every so often. With two hundred miles left to go, my husband decided we had to pull over to see what was wrong.

When you pull over on the interstate in the near-dark, you just might attract the attention of a state trooper. The officer pulled up behind us and left his lights on so he could see. When we explained there was a weird grindy noise coming from the back of the car, he was nice enough to look.

“Maybe this is it?” he asked, holding up my vibrator. The switch had been hit when I put it in our luggage next to my skimpy jammies. The grindy part of the noise was it was sitting on top of the handcuffs my husband had put in there.

Thankfully, even though vibrators are illegal in my state (no shit, look it up), the cop let us go WITH my toy.

All I can say is, if that cop had confiscated that vibrator, I think there would have to be a follow up story from the man in uniform’s perspective. 😉

Congrats on winning the gift certificate, Lorca!

Now for an added surprise, DeLeetra has generously decided to offer a runner up prize – a copy of her humorous erotic book, A Little Mini-Madness. Yay!

The winner of A Little Mini-Madness is Kelly Stone Gamble for her Marge Simpson voice!

I’ll say this: With my first husband, who wasn’t that great in bed, I had a perfect way to make him lose interest. In my best Marge Simpson voice I would say, “Oh, yeah, baby, right there.” It was like deflating a balloon. Worked every time.

I will have to try that voice if I’m ever stuck with a shitty sex partner. In fact, I’ve been practicing my Marge Simpson voice all week, to my boyfriend’s chagrin.

Congrats, ladies! Please email me and I will get you in touch with DeLeetra.

Folks, to read other fun entries and to read about DeLeetra’s release, A Little Mini-Madness, click here. For those who didn’t win (and those who did), there is another contest being held on my blog. You have just a short time to enter to win a copy of erotica author Ella Jade’s latest release, Passion’s Pain. Just leave a comment here.

 

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. October 8, 2012 6:23 pm

    Ha ha. Vibrators are illegal? What state?

  2. October 8, 2012 10:47 pm

    Right here in Alabama. It falls under the state’s sodomy laws. That comes in really handy when I’m just not up to a blow job because all I have to do is remind my husband that oral sex is also illegal in this state! The framers of the constitution SERIOUSLY did not think that one through. Thanks for the great contest, I’m honored to win!

  3. October 9, 2012 3:44 am

    I bow to Lorca’s vibrator story, and completely surprised by the runner up prize. Thanks!

  4. October 10, 2012 8:48 pm

    Thank you ladies so much for the stories and that is crazy that vibrators are illegal. Well guess I want be living in Alabama hahaha.

Trackbacks

  1. Apparently, I'm Going To Hell, guest post by @LorcaDamon

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