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Pocketful of Wait Time

October 17, 2012

I have an issue with my Airmiles today. I called the number on the back of the card and after about six minutes of arguing with an automated system that did not even have voice recognition, I’ve been put on hold. I was warned that the average wait time is 118 minutes, a very precise and high number. I was given the option of an operator call me back but a) I do not think they have my correct phone number on file and b) No fucking way! 118 minutes? I have to test this out. So, I chose to hold.


I am now 110 minutes into that hold, and the anticipation is killing me. Will it be 118 minutes on the dot? How many times will I hear Pocketful of Sunshine before they answer? I’ve listened to it half a dozen times now so I’m sure this is going to turn into that scene from Easy A when Olive (Emma Stone) hears Pocketful of Sunshine in one of those musical cards and she’s all like, “lame”. By the end of the scene she is playing it full blast on her stereo while karaoke-ing it into her hair brush. Later in the movie, it is her ring tone.


I have to admit, I’m little nervous now. I’ve forgotten and remembered the reason I’ve called three times already. Will I choke when I finally talk to a real live person? I’ve been known to not handle pressure well.


Hey, did you guys know that Airmiles will NEVER contact you via phone to let you know that you’ve won Airmiles in a contest? It is very important to not give away your Airmiles collector number and/or PIN over the phone to a telemarketer. I missed this message the first couple of times I heard it but I caught it after the third time and after the thirtieth I can now mimic the recorded message as it is given. It will take just a few more times and I will have her voice down like I’m an impressions boss.


I’ve been told several times to get my Airmiles collector number, passport and credit card info ready should I want to book a trip. Do I want to book a trip? A trip would be nice, wouldn’t it? Should I book a trip? Wait. Is that why I called? No, I called because I had an issue. What was that issue again?


She answered! Her name is Eunice and she’s fabulous! After 121 minutes of wait time (those stinking liars) Eunice solved all of my life Airmiles problems in under four minutes. I am now free to go about my day…oh shit, what was it I had planned to do today? Oh yeah, download Pocket Full of Sunshine and change my ringtone…

One Comment leave one →
  1. October 18, 2012 9:17 pm

    Give or take 3 minutes is probably good for them, so you shouldn’t berate them too much (though 118 minutes is long enough. Even dropping a digit (first or last) is a number where I would hang up. At least you got a new ringtone.

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