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Coolest Gift Ever, Lamest Gift Ever

March 18, 2013

The boyfriend and I don’t usually exchange gifts on our anniversary. We tend to be more focused on having a good time than on getting each other gifts. This year, however, I bought him something on a whim. I saw a set of portable, USB chargeable speakers that have a twenty hour battery life, decent sound quality and some water resistance. He can plug his phone into the speakers, tuck it into the back of the speaker and zip it up. I thought they would be perfect for  sailing or the beach or whatever.

Well, thank gawd I did get him a gift this year because I guess he picked up something for me, too, and the something he picked up might just be the coolest gift I’ve ever received.

the art of tim burton, third edition

The Art of Tim Burton, Third Edition, signed by Tim Burton! Also, a numbered and signed Tim Burton lithograph! Holy shit, right? I did some research online and it turns out that there were only 1000 deluxe third editions made and they are sold out.  I checked the other editions but I really like the lithograph included with this one, and I was lucky enough to get a pretty low number of the 1000.

Like I said, I’m glad I got him those speakers, although they aren’t nearly as awesome as the gift he gave me. This somehow reminds me of a time when I was dating someone else a long while ago. Our birthdays were only a couple weeks apart but his came first. He was quite wealthy and I was not. He was also quite thoughtful whereas I was not. Well, maybe it’s not so much that I was unthoughtful, I’ve just never been good at dates. In fact, I did not remember his birthday until I woke up on the day of, sitting straight up in bed and mentally shouting, Oh Shit! I crawled out of bed without waking him and headed to the mall. I knew he needed a new wallet but I couldn’t find one nice enough that was in my budget. So I left the mall and headed to the discount store – T.J. Max. Thank goodness T.J. Max came through for me.  I found a nice, sleek DKNY wallet on clearance for just $17. It took me forever to peel the stickers off and I wrapped it in the car. He was still sleeping when I arrived home so I managed to make him a surprise birthday breakfast and everything. He didn’t want his gift at breakfast, though. He wanted to take me out for dinner that evening and said we could exchange gifts then.

Exchange? You’re the only person whose supposed to be getting a gift  but whatever.

At dinner, I proudly presented the somewhat sloppily wrapped DKNY wallet that he would have no way of knowing I only spent $17 on. Before he unwrapped it, he handed me a slim box with a gold bow, explaining that he hated to receive gifts without returning the favour so he wanted to give me my birthday gift early. I shrugged and opened it and almost died. It was a diamond tennis bracelet, four carats. He opened his gift next and seemed to really like the wallet. He told me it was exactly what he would have picked out for himself. Then he opened the wallet to find….yep…another fucking clearance price tag for $17.

Why the fuck would they put two price tags on the wallet? Why the fuck didn’t I check inside?

“Um…I plan to pay for the dinner, too,” I fumbled.

Thankfully, he was a pretty easy going guy and he totally understood that I was broke university student. He wouldn’t let me pay for the dinner despite my best efforts, which was probably best since the bill came to more than I made in a week at the campus bookstore.

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