Skip to content

You Don’t Have to Be a Whore to Have Your Pretty Woman Moment

May 26, 2013

I mean, you can be a prostitute I don’t really care. To each her own, I say. But you don’t necessarily have to be one, you know? Case in point:

I had just left my knee appointment, which included a strenuous lower body workout,Β  in posh downtown Yorkville. I looked like shit; red faced, frizzy haired, under dressed shit. I didn’t bother to change because I only had two stops – Ashley’s in Yorkville to pick up a birthday present for the MIL and then lulemon to pick up a headband – before going to tennis and then for a swim. Ashley’s was just a few doors down from my knee appointment so I ducked in there first. I wandered past four sales associates, all of whom ignored me or perused my person with ill-concealed contempt. They did not bother greeting me or asking if I needed help. Finally, when I wouldn’t stop touching things and picking them up, I’m sure, a sales lady asked if I needed assistance. She was pleasant enough. I explained I was looking for a present for the MIL and gave her an idea of what I had in mind. She gave me a few suggestions and I picked out what I liked. A bit over-priced but, whatever, the MIL deserves it and more.

While I was waiting for her to gift wrap it, I continued to look around the store, and be ignored by several other associates. I happened to spot this three-tiered tray thingy that stacks and un-stacks and matches one I already own so, when the sales lady returned, I asked if I would purchase that, too.

“Do you want me to check the price before you go to the cash?”

A little condescending but I could overlook it because I understood she was trying to be nice and save me some embarrassment if it proved to be beyond my budget. Since I already had one similar at home, however, I knew the approximate price.

“No, that’s okay. I’ll just get in ringed up, please. It doesn’t have to be gift wrapped, it’s for me.”

She looked at me cautiously before saying, “Well, in that case you might want to look at one we have over here that goes very well with this.” She led me to it. It turned out to be the exact one in my cupboard at the boat.

“Thank you but I already have that one. I’ve been looking for one that goes with it for a while. It stacks so nicely and it fits in tight spaces.”

“Yes, they are building apartments smaller and smaller these days aren’t they?”

I do happen to live in a tiny condo unit but I answered honestly, “Actually, I use it on my sailboat.”

Folks, one does not have to be wealthy to own a sailboat but images of pricey yacht clubs must have filled her mind because at this point the sales lady’s eyes brightened. She proceeded with attempts to upsell me on half the shit in the store. Other sales associates looked on with bemused amusement until they saw me leave the checkout with two nicely sized Ashley’s bags. I actually had the urge to say, “Big mistake. Big. Huge,” as I sailed out of the store but, with my luck, the words would be barely out of my mouth before I tripped over my own feet and broken everything in the bags.

Advertisements
11 Comments leave one →
  1. May 26, 2013 1:04 pm

    Heh, glad you showed them (and found exactly what you were looking for!)

    • May 26, 2013 3:38 pm

      I’ve been looking for that stupid tiered plate for over a year. I never thought to look in that store because most of the stuff in there is not at all my style. The thing is, I probably could have looked like my usual self and I still would not have fitted in with the typical clientele of that store. I always wonder, though, why sales people don’t realize that people need to shop for gifts for people with different tastes.

  2. May 26, 2013 2:27 pm

    You go girl!!!

    • May 26, 2013 3:38 pm

      Thanks! I almost want to dress like shit every time I go shopping. πŸ˜€

  3. juliabarrett permalink
    May 26, 2013 4:47 pm

    When Julia Roberts gets her revenge it’s one of the sweetest moments in the movie. My husband believes one should always dress the part to get good service. I believe in dressing however the hell I want and by god I should get good service anyway.

    • May 27, 2013 1:20 pm

      I agree, I love that scene. I go back and forth on whether or not I should dress the part. My friend owns a coffee shop and sometimes I work there if she has a staffing emergency. I’d like to think I treat everyone equal. I don’t work on commission, though (hell, I don’t even accept payment from her or take my share of tips ;)) If I did work on commission then who knows? Maybe I would profile customers? Still, I can’t see myself treating anyone like shit just because I thought I might be wasting my time.

    • June 3, 2013 9:25 pm

      Totally agree! You’re paid to serve, bitch. Now do it, and make it snappy. Don’t worry about what the fuck I’m wearing. Earn your check before I pull out my very inexpensive phone and call your manager… which is a free call. I ain’t gotta look good or spend a lot of money to get your ass fired for being a lousy customer service rep! lolz! πŸ™‚

  4. Bre permalink
    May 28, 2013 10:39 pm

    This is a common occurrence, if you’re African American. I almost had to to do a strip tease to get waited on in Pottery Barn–so I stopped going, lol!

    • May 29, 2013 12:15 am

      It’s funny when it happens to me on the odd occasion but it is no laughing matter when its a common occurrence. That gets old fast. I’m glad you don’t shop in Pottery Barn anymore. There shit is overpriced anyway. πŸ™‚

  5. June 3, 2013 9:27 pm

    It’s like you want to shout in your “outside” voice, “EXCUSE ME, PEOPLE, I’D LIKE TO GIVE YOU SOME MONEY OVER HERE. ANYONE INTERESTED IN ACCEPTING MY DOLLARS? NO? OKAY, THEN GOODBYE, DUMB-DUMBS.” But that could be perceived as slightly insane. Which is why I get kicked out of stores fairly regularly. I shop in my sweatpants more often than is healthy, I suppose. *OH WELL*

  6. Julz permalink
    June 4, 2013 5:30 am

    Awesome! Can only imagine the looks on their faces πŸ™‚ take that snob ladies!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: